Fast Heart, Weak Stomach

Well it was bound to happen-

I’ve had a lifelong love affair with racing (well okay, I fell out of love with it from the age of 15 until I was 37, but it has colored my life.) But I’ve had a completely lifelong battle with a weak stomach. These are two elements of a man’s life that are bound to cross paths sooner or later.

When I was a kid, getting carsick was nearly synonymous with taking a ride in the car. As I got older the switch to the front seat cured most of my motor-induced queasiness. To this day a ride in a backseat is still an all but certain predictor of stomach trouble. My stomach is weak and my head and heart love to go fast. Trouble-

Jesse Dupree called to let me know his buddy’s racing experience school was down at Atlanta Motor Speedway, and that I was invited. I didn’t think much about the trouble my stomach’s been giving me lately. I only thought about the idea of strapping into a cup car and being allowed to go up to 170mph, and when he told me to bring along my visiting brother-in-law you couldn’t have kept me away from the track. I would live at the track if I could.

The first red flag cropped up while driving back from the Saturday show on WGST. My tummy felt funky. It was full of coffee and Red Bull and nothing else. “I’ll eat a sandwich when I get home,” I thought. “I’ll be fine.”

We got to the track and everything was great. Jesse introduced me to Kelley the owner of the Speed Tech Auto Racing School. We took the short pre-drive class, suited up and got strapped into our cars. I had been reminded of my stomach plight on the drive down, but once I’m in the thick of things my mind is focused on driving.

I had only done an average of 156mph previously at AMS when I did the Petty School. Jesse and Kelley promised that I’d get up to 165 or 170 if I had the balls. I pulled out of pit road, took it to the track, and jammed the accelerator to the floor as hard as I could when coming out of turns 2 and 4 for 10 thrilling laps. After getting the checkered flag I began to coast it home and slow it down and that’s when the trouble started.

The god-awful heat and just experienced G-forces began conspiring against me as I brought the car to a gentle stop in front of one of the instructors on pit road. I knew I was woozy so I got the helmet off and got out as quick as possible. I thought some fresh air would be the tonic I’d need to settle my little tum-tums. But as I walked back behind the pit wall and sat down- it happened.

It’s funny- when you vomit you don’t care who’s there or who’s watching. It wasn’t massive and I was as discreet as possible, but I left about two and a half heaves of red bull, coffee and the remnants of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich right there behind the pit wall.

The good news is I did break 165mph. I have the nads. I just need to work on the grace.

Thanks to Jesse and Kelley for giving me the chance to go fast. I had a lot of fun, but I’ll try to lay down some 'cleaner' laps next time around.