eric says:

Mad Pundit Radio Brief 10/14/06

2006-10-13T12:49:00.000-04:00

Raise the Roof & Lower the Boom…

Mad Pundit Radio returns for another happy go-round on Saturday the 14th of October. All are welcome to listen and can do so by tuning into 640 WGST in Atlanta between the hours of 1 and 3p. The pundit will be joined by the usual suspects- Lucky Yates, Leonard Sharing, & Wendi Grossman.

The discussion will swirl around many things-

Things like:
N. Korea's latest nuclear antics. They say they've tested the bomb. The U.S. says they haven't detected any radiation around the area. But either way everyone's pissed and looking for answers. Tune in and the pundit will be happy to provide those answers.

Things like:

Yankee's pitcher Cory Lidle crashing his plane into a building of condominiums in New York City- The pundit feels bad for the dearly departed and his family but wonders if amateur pilots should be training over dense population centers. Can't they train over farmland, or the ocean?

Things like:

The first Republican, Bob Ney, convicted of accepting the largesse offered by disgraced former lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

And Things Like:

The efforts of Dems on the Hill to make political hay out of the Mark Foley intern-gate stuff.

And:

Whether or not the last two items add up to the Democrats regaining control of one or both Houses of Congress in a few weeks. Many experts are predicting the House will change hands and some have been bold enough to say that the Senate is now in play as well. Are they right? The pundit really doesn't know, but it'll be fun to jaw about.

And Also:

Another dire warning about the possible consequences of continuing to ignore man's effect on Global Warming has dropped. The pundit loves being shouted down by all of humanity when he states his disbelief in the linkage between industrial pollution and the gradual warming of the planet- so it oughta be a blast.

Plus:

Games, puppies, and plenty of Trickery for the whole family!

Join us.

Mad Pundit Radio Brief 10/7/06

2006-10-06T11:28:00.000-04:00

Believe the hype!

It's all true!

Mad Pundit Radio will indeed take to the airwaves once again on Saturday, the 7th day of October 2006. The pundit will be joined by his usual on-air crew- Lucky Yates, Leonard Sharing, & Wendi Grossman – and they can be heard on 640 WGST in Atlanta, Ga.

Here are a few of the items they may or may not opine on:

First of all, we're not above delving into the Mark Foley scandal. The pundit has heard an awful lot of nonsense on this topic. ABC's handling of the story was faulty to begin with, the talking points coming from the politicians is suspect, and the conspiracy theories being tossed around by bloggers from both sides has reached the level of absurdity. The pundit will be glad to let you know why the Speaker of the House should resign if you'll only tune in to hear it.

The Foley scandal wasn't the only case of child exploitation recently. The use of the Amish girls who were murdered execution-style for 24 hour News profit was the most reprehensible act of the week. The pundit has news for you- if you watched more than 5 minutes of that coverage- you're a sicko.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is being portrayed by his gubernatorial opponent as being 'anti-immigrant.' A very interesting charge since he is an immigrant himself. The pundit will go over some audio and discussion will ensue.

The Dow Jones industrial average had a record-breaking week. The pundit will be forced to admit that he really doesn't know what that means.

Plus:Anything else that captures the pundit's fancy.

Plus:A Lightning Round or two- and plenty of Hot Dogs, Balloons, and Trickery for the whole family!

Mad Pundit Radio Topic Brief9/30/06

2006-09-29T11:23:00.000-04:00

Go tell it on the mountain!

The Mad Pundit Show is slated to make an air wave appearance on 640 WGST on Saturday the thirtieth day of September 2006. The show will have a bit of a different feel this week with a different cast of characters as both Wendi Grossman and Leonard Sharing are taking the week off.

They will both surely be missed but the pundit has filled Leonard’s seat with one of his two favorite Creative Loafing columnists, the all-knowing scene-ster Andisheh Nouraee and is still busy trying fill the chair usually held by Ms. Grossman. We may not know who the final panelist will be but we do know what topics the pundit is interested in covering on the show.

Topic List:

Bill Clinton got pretty huffy with Mike Wallace after being asked why he didn’t do more to bring Osama to justice. The ex-prez pointed a finger at the White House, Condoleeza Rice weighed in, Hillary weighed in, and now the pundit and his panelists will weigh in.

The prez and congress have agreed on how to interrogate and prosecute terrorism suspects with legislation that makes most, but not all of the politicos happy. We’ll hear what the dissenters have to say- then the pundit will dissent from the dissenters.

Bush called the Dems weak on the War on Terror in a speech in Alabama this week. Not surprisingly, the Dems balked. The pundit will tell you what you should think.

7-Eleven stores have dropped Venezuelan owned Citgo petroleum just a week after Hugo Chavez called the President of the United States the devil. The convenience store chain claims the severing of the 20 year old deal was not related to the Venezuelan leader’s recent comments. It’ll be interesting to hear the pundit tell us why they’re lying and telling the truth at the same time.

Virginia senator George Allen of ‘macacca’ fame is now being dogged by reports that he is a true-blue racist. Ex-jock buddies are now telling the press that he often used the ‘N’ word back in the day, as well as pranking black families with dead deer heads placed in unsuspecting mailboxes. Wow! The pundit doesn’t know if it’ll doom his senate reelection, but what of all that White House in ‘08 talk?

Plus anything else the pundit gets fascinated with- but we guarantee a couple of lightning rounds, some tom-foolery, and plenty of trickery for the whole family.

Give us a listen.

MPR Political Dance Party 9\23\06

2006-09-22T13:02:00.000-04:00

Yes Virginia there is a Mad Pundit Radio show this weekend. MPR will pour forth from the airwaves from 1 to 3pm. this Saturday, the 23rd of September in the Year of our Lord 2006. The broadcast is best heard when the listener is tuned in to the frequency of 640 on the AM band in the metro Atlanta area. The corresponding call letters?-WGST.

This week the pundit and cast will mull over topics of interest to many. As well as a few topics that are of interest mainly to themselves… and maybe, if you’re lucky… just a couple of topics that are only considered interesting to part-time cab drivers sharing stories over a hot cup of coffee after an AA meeting.

The big stories include Bush calling Iran to the carpet at the UN, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad calling for more time at the UN, and Hugo Chavez calling Bush the Devil at the UN. The other big stories feature spoiled spinach, interrogation compromise between Republicans, gubernatorial candidates calling for the death penalty for repeat molesters, an attorney general muscling internet providers to preserve all customer records, and the latest balls-up in the latest Saddam trial.

The pundit might also chat about the completely useless Space Shuttle program, the new Tickle-Me-Elmo Xtreme doll, and Jackie Chan’s recent porno disclosure.

And:
You can just bet on a Lightning Round or two, much tension and laughter between panelists, and trickery for the whole family!

Mad Pundit Radio Topic Brief9/16/06

2006-09-15T17:47:00.000-04:00

That's right Mad Pundit Radio hits the airwaves for the second straight week at its scheduled time and date: 9/16/06 on 640 WGST Radio in Atlanta from 1 til 3pm!

But what will we yapp about?

Bush wants to mess around with the Geneva Convention. The Democrats hate it, but have stepped to the background to allow the Republicans that hate it- a chance to kill it. The pundit will maintain and eventually persuade you that the Dems and wayward Repubs are wrong... and that the Geneva Convention does need to be messed around with. Just a little bit.
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Meredith Viera joined the cast of the Today Show. The pundit doesn’t know what he thinks of that. In fact, the pundit doesn’t know if he thinks anything of that. But it seems notable- so it’ll probably come up.
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The passing of the Grand Texas Matriarch Ann Richards has the pundit thinking about the funny things that politicians say. The former Texas Gov. and world-class King of the Hill co-star was most famous for her ‘silver foot’ verbal slam against the current Prez’s dad the former Vice-Prez George H.W. Bush. Why were her words acceptable in a climate where the current Vice-Prez was excoriated for referring to a mere reporter as a big-time ass hole?

Arnold Shwarzenegger in California, George Allen in Virginia, and Joe Biden in Delaware have all shaken their campaigns recently with an unfortunate turn of the tongue. What separates a precious quip from a political gaffe?
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The other candidate for the Virginia senate seat Jim Webb used to be a muckety-muck in the military. Back in the day (the late 70’s) he wrote a fancy article in a way legitimate journal that women had a place in the military but in his opinion should never be allowed to serve in combat roles. Well, he’s a converted Democrat and that piece of his Republican past is now coming back to haunt him. He says he’s sorry and has changed his mind and blah, blah, blah. The pundit will be glad to convince you that the old-school military man is right and the new-school politician is wrong.
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The pundit feels like playing a game. He doesn’t know what it is or what he’ll give away. But rest assured games will be played.
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As usual-

Lightning Rounds, Banter, & Trickery for the Whole Family!
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Do Join Us

E Pluribus Unum

2006-09-11T12:23:00.000-04:00

Giving into the tears that present themselves after I’ve watched just a minute or two of any of the 9/11 commemorations being held today isn’t easy for me. I don’t like giving the enemy so many years of satisfaction.

In a perfect world we’d all be John Wayne. Able to exorcise our grief through pure action without putting our wounds on display for all to see. But I’m not made of that mythical exterior and it takes only a couple of names read by a still grieving family member from any of these ceremonies to tear open my alpha resolve and push my emotions to my sleeve.

Listen to the list of victims from New York, Pennsylvania, and Washington D.C. and it won’t take long to marvel at the churning ethnic blend represented by this virtual cemetery of the honored. That random mix of people frozen together in time speak to the extraordinary nature of the average life in this country. That freeze-frame snapshot captures who we are; refugees from the rest of the world that disagree on much, but agree on the right to pursue those constitutional ideals- Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

I have no wish to be political on this solemn day of remembering. We were all attacked five years ago, regardless of our personal religious or political affiliations. After all, the enemy sees no discernible difference between the blue or red states. We are all infidels in their eyes and will remain so until we bow to their demands.

Our enemy knows something about us that we’ve thus far failed to grasp. We are more alike than we think. If you doubt it- just listen to the names. We are all of those cultures and colors mixed together. We might be wise to begin celebrating it- as much as our enemy hates it.

May the memory of the lost live forever... they are us.

MPR Returns!

2006-09-08T12:44:00.000-04:00

Yes it’s true- Mad Pundit Radio returns to the airwaves tomorrow afternoon on 640 WGST in Atlanta! Here’s a general outline of the pundit’s vague plan of attack-

As we approach the fifth anniversary of the attack on the Twin Towers the pundit wants to know if the country is still committed to the cause of wiping out the terrorist threat.

Have the Republicans responded to the threat properly?

How would the Democrats ensure future security if they were in charge?

Pundit and panel will also give letter grades to the administration on their handling of the various aspects of the War on Terror. Grades A thru F will be given on the following:

Afghanistan
Iraq
Gitmo
Patriot Act vs. Civil Liberties
Cooperation with Allies

Also:
Al-Qaida has released a video that invites all U.S. citizens to convert to Islam- Any
takers?

Also:
CBS is worried they will be fined by the FCC for airing a bare-bones documentary on 9/11 and much of the Clinton administration is protesting the way they are portrayed in ABC’s mini-series on the same subject. Pundit & friends will sort through the debris.

A judge on Tuesday approved Delta Air Line’s request to terminate its pilot’s pension plan. The pundit thinks the pilot’s are whining a bit too much on this one. But he has a feeling that many disagree.

The Crocodile Hunter is dead! Have you heard the news? The pundit doesn’t mean to be cruel but the man made a living out of messing with wild animals. Who didn’t see this coming? While heralded as a great conservationist and lover of animals- the pundit wonders what the difference is between the croc hunter and someone like Johnny Knoxville of Jackass fame?

English PM Tony Blair has announced that he’ll step down within a year. Is he being sacrificed due to his close relationship with our President?

A new report says that Global Warming will take the Earth back to the dinosaur era. The report is being reported as fact. The pundit will tell you why it’s fiction.

One of the Panda’s at Zoo Atlanta has given birth and you’d think people cared. Does anyone in this country really care about these commie exports? The pundit has seen a lot of media coverage of these critters but he’s never met anyone who cared a whit.

We’ll also toss in a Lightning Round or two- so make plans to join us… Saturday September 9, 2006 1-3p. on 640 WGST Atlanta.

Fight The Power!

2006-09-06T17:39:00.000-04:00

I was a bit apprehensive when I saw that Chuck D from Public Enemy had been scheduled for this morning’s Reg Guys show. His talent has always been apparent to me but I’ve disagreed with his politics since drifting away from my old Leftist views and I wasn’t much of a fan of his tone and disposition even back when Michael Dukakis was a personal hero.

My politics may have changed but my dislike for angry social militant types has held fast. I’ve never seen the need for social militancy in this country. We have elections all the time and if you’re angry about the status quo there is every opportunity to either run for office yourself, or support a candidate who better represents your point of view.

The proper outlet for anger in this country is the system itself. If you don’t like it then roll up your sleeves, get involved, and try to make it better. An occasional political overhaul is healthy but a toppling of institutions from outside the political system is never a good idea.

I’ve been critical of Chuck D because I find that his message, to youth especially, is one of cynicism rather than hope. So I was pleasantly surprised to find that although we agreed on very little during his appearance, he was a blast to argue with.

When he declared that Castro and Che were personal heroes I thought all hell would break loose. I just can’t let comments like that go unchallenged and I was sure all civility would break down when I strongly disagreed- but to my surprise we just went on smiling and laughing and disagreeing. It was refreshing to see that he enjoyed the back and forth of true political debate.

We didn’t have much of an exchange on-air because we were running out of time but off-air I continued to challenge him on Castro’s human rights record- and he agreed in principle to make an appearance on Mad Pundit Radio in the future to continue the debate.

I can’t wait.

The Kyra Carnival

2006-08-31T19:47:00.000-04:00

Just a quick note on all the hype over Kyra Phillips and her national bathroom moment-

Kyra and her husband John are very good friends and it’s rather surreal to see her going through a bunch of hoopla over off-air comments made public- after she was so helpful to me back when I was dealing with fallout caused by inadvertently open microphones just a couple of years ago.

It looks like she’ll fare a bit better than the Reg Guys did. After all, most of her private/public comments were positive things about her husband. As for her future relations with her sister-in-law. That’s to be worked out between family members, and who knows how ugly that will get before it’s resolved?

We haven’t spoken directly since the incident. But through several traded voice-mails my sense is that the whole thing has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster. At first she was in good spirits about it, making jokes, etc. But day two brought on a lot of unexpected criticism that seemed to change the mood a bit.

I didn’t get all that inquisitive over the phone because Jane and I had been planning to get together with Kyra and John for dinner tonight- so I thought I’d wait to see how the whole thing shook out. Then I received the last in the series of voice-mails this afternoon and she broke it to me that they had to cancel dinner because she was going to New York to appear on Letterman tonight.

So there it is- the full circle. She was embarrassed, then attacked by Rush and comics all around- and now she’ll appear on Dave and be her charming self and win people over. It’s quite possible that this will end up being the biggest boost her career has ever had.

It’s a funny world.

Anger Management

2006-08-28T18:35:00.000-04:00

What to do with 'nagging' anger?

I believe that anger is something that should be temporary in most cases. I’ve never had much interest in people who harbor grudges, or worse yet, the types that appoint themselves Karma sheriff and set out to make sure the deserving get their comeuppance.

My philosophy is that in the present we should only really care about the things that we’ll still care about when laying on our deathbed. Chances are the petty grievances we have with family members and co-workers won’t matter much to us as we contemplate our lives from the vantage point of our last breath. I suspect that most of us will be wondering whether we were good friends, good parents, etc. So I try to put things in perspective and keep lasting anger at bay.

But sometimes...

...sometimes anger makes a strong fight to stay in the foreground of mood and conscience. It becomes difficult to overcome when someone else makes a mistake that affects us in a negative way. I can handle it when I screw up my own affairs, but others aren’t so welcome to do the same. Especially when the consequences are irreversible.

It’s a small thing really-

My wife decided that our Tivo memory was full of too many old programs last night and decided to do some drastic housecleaning. If she had taken the time to look at what she was deleting I’m sure she wouldn’t have dusted the only record of the only national TV appearances ever done by yours truly. But she didn’t bother to look and they’re gone forever.

I haven’t looked at those things in years and I have no idea why I wanted them there to begin with. Perhaps I thought my grandchildren would see them or some such nonsense. But the irreversibility of the whole thing was frustrating and old-man anger tugged hard at my afternoon mood.

He said, “stop being so rational and keep sulking- you have the right- that bitch screwed you up!” And he had a good argument that I found convincing for a half-hour or so.

But then I came to my senses and realized, as usual, that seething anger is a waste of time. Those shows are gone and they ain’t coming back no matter how much I pout about it. Then the realization hit me that I would eventually get over it.

And so long as I’ll eventually get over it- I might as well immediately get over it. To do otherwise (seething & pouting) is simply a waste of time.

And that was it- the anger was gone.

Poof!

The power of rational thought can be quite awesome.

Besides:
I hear Einstein used to make a habit out of throwing away all of his notes every few years in an effort to keep his work fresh and sharp.

Chances are my wife didn’t toss anything that was as important as Einstein’s notes- although that first dust-up with Michael Medved and Bill Press on CNBC was pretty good.

Oh well.

Reminder!

2006-08-26T11:24:00.000-04:00

Just a quick reminder. There is no show today. There is no show next Saturday
either.

BTW:
We're looking to add a few things and give the page a light overhaul over the next couple of days. So keep an eye out-

libertarian hippies unite,
eric

Pluto, we hardly knew ye...

2006-08-24T20:08:00.000-04:00

Well, that’s it- Pluto has been demoted. Poor little Pluto is no longer a planet.

School children the world over will mourn but this new reclassification is as close to a good decision that could have been hoped for out of The International Astronomical Union. The group has been meeting for what seems like forever to clear up the planetary mess that’s developed over the years and they appear to have bitten the bullet and done the right thing.

Pluto’s status as a planet has always been a topic of scientific debate. We weren’t taught that in school and so we’ve always considered it to be as legitimate as the big eight, but it never was.

The twin facts that kids love it and that it’s the only planet discovered by an American kept it in the show longer than it ever deserved. The death knell came when another planet was discovered recently that’s a bit larger and three times farther from Pluto than Pluto is from the Sun.

It became obvious that new and better telescopes were going to keep finding these pieces of round cosmic debris from the Kuiper Belt and calling them all planets was going to lead to an absurdly crowded neighborhood. So the experts did the right thing and acted to rectify the situation.

We can all be thankful that the idiotic ideas floated out of this meeting a few weeks ago (see earlier blog entitled ‘Outer Space Outrage’) that would have added three planets, including a couple of moons, were shot down.

In fact my suggested solution in that earlier blog was very nearly completely adopted. I wanted to see a system of Major and Minor planets and Pluto’s new designation as one in a new classification of ‘Dwarf’ planets is much the same idea.

I didn’t get everything I wanted. It’s my contention that in order to be a planet the sizable round object should be required to orbit the sun primarily, ruling out all moons. This doesn’t seem to have been made into a hard and fast rule but the qualifier that the round object must “clear the neighborhood around its orbit” goes a long way toward the goal of insisting that a planet have the Sun as it’s main dancing partner.

Now those smart guys should get together and have another meeting to decide on a proper name for our own moon. Other planets get moons with really cool names like Titan, Callisto, and Charon... but our moon is just called the moon. That seems kinda crappy.

Premise Fatigue

2006-08-22T19:30:00.000-04:00

Political argument is increasingly leaving me in a frustrated state of mind these days. Reasoned positions debated with passion have become a thing of the past.

A Leftist friend recently accused me of being a ‘Bush cultist’ because I don’t favor an immediate withdrawal of troops from Iraq. A conservative buddy of mine is trying to convince me that the War on Terror is nothing more than a ruse being used by politicians of all stripes to reclaim the relevance in constituent’s lives they’ve lost over the last few years. And I overheard a discussion in the office today between three ladies talking about the new Spike Lee Katrina documentary that held as its unquestionable premise that the Bush administration doesn’t give a damn about black people.

How is it possible to engage in rational dialogue with those that cling to such silly beliefs? Isn’t it at all possible that the politicians we don’t agree with are just wrong? Must they be demon-ized and assumed to be the hydra-heads of large conspiracies against the general public?

Ayn Rand hit the nail on the head when she repeated tirelessly to anyone who would listen to her ornery ass- ‘Check Your Premises!’

It is impossible for a good argument to rest upon a faulty premise.

The president is not a cult leader. The War on Terror is not an illusion crafted to distract an otherwise unhappy public. And the current administration is not geared toward stripping the dignity from ethnic minorities. These are not arguments worthy of retort.

That is not to say that there are not an awful lot of good arguments against this president and his administration. It’s just that none of those good arguments are based in conspiracy theory.

I’d like to think that I could make the decision to debate only sane people but they are getting so difficult to find as of late.

Mad Pundit Radio Preview for 8/19/06

2006-08-18T18:05:00.000-04:00

On Saturday August 19th, 2006 the cast and crew of Mad Pundit Radio will descend upon the studios of 640 WGST at 1pm to grind out the next political dance-party. Here are some of the issues in the hopper:

Mid-80’s Peter Gabriel look-a-like John Mark Karr is arrested in Thailand for the murder of Jon-Benet Ramsey. As Lucky put it in a voice-mail to the pundit, “he looks like he’s guilty of something.” The pundit agrees. But is he guilty of this particular crime? His ex-wife has cast doubt on the story saying he was with her during that Christmas season. But Thai officials seem to believe they’ve got the right man. And what’s the deal with the Boulder D.A.?
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The cease-fire is on in Lebanon and Hizbollah is busy buying the allegiance of the Lebanese citizens with rebuilding grants for those who lost property during the Israeli bombardment. Let’s leave aside the truth that the Lebanese citizens are being bullied into accepting funds from Hizbollah under threat of reprisal from the militia group.

Let’s concentrate on another question. Where in the hell does this band of outlaws get all of this reparation money from? Syria? Iran? Is it okay for any country to step in and buy loyalty from these folks? If so, why not us? We have more money than Iran. Let’s buy ‘em if we have to.

We’ll also get into the general state of the cease-fire. Is it as advertised, a chance for international troops to get in there and disarm Hizbollah, or just breathing space that will allow the militia to resupply for the next round of rocket attacks?
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Cynthia McKinney claims that the electronic voting machines now being used in the state of Georgia are ‘designed’ to steal elections. Mind you she’s not saying that they are faulty. She’s not saying they could malfunction and declare a wrong winner. She’s saying that they are actually designed at the factory to steal elections, presumably from minorities.

Ms. McKinney received a standing ovation from over 200 people at the church where she made these statements. The pundit would like to explore the phenomenon of racial paranoia. What kind of person falls for this load of crap?
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The pundit is beside himself over something that most have paid no attention to. A group of elite astronomers are about to change the definition of the word ‘planet.’ The solar system made up of the nine planets you were taught about in school is about to change drastically and the so-called experts have gotten it all wrong! Tune in and the pundit will rant and rave and convince you he, and only he, has the right system of planet classification.
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That’s the stuff in the hopper. As usual we may get to it all... but will probably run out of time. And there’s always the chance your host will decide to go in a completely different direction at the last minute. You can bet on a Lightning Round or two- but the rest of the show depends on whatever mood overtakes the pundit just before we go on-air.

Please join us.

Strong Women

2006-08-17T19:44:00.000-04:00

Just a quick thought before I lay me down to sleep:

I think it’s interesting that whenever a person criticizes a female liberal icon they’re likely to be told that they’re just afraid of a strong woman. This comes as quite a surprise to those of us Libertarian conservatives who were rather heavily influenced by the work of Ayn Rand. But the criticism is leveled nonetheless.

Hillary detractors are often bombarded with this sort of thing. To disagree with her policies is to reveal yourself as someone who simply can’t handle the idea of empowered women getting their turn at the leadership wheel. It couldn’t be that you simply have a problem with her ideas. The truth, so say the sycophants, is that your manhood is somehow threatened by her presence at the table.

The few remaining Cynthia McKinney advocates pick up the Hillary chant and up the ante with the race card. According to these devotees of the recently deposed representative of Georgia’s 4th district anyone inclined to debate her is not only afraid of a strong woman, but even worse, live in fear of a strong black woman.

The truly interesting thing about all of this is that conservatives never counter with the same logic even though they have more opportunity to do so.

Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice is, by virtue of her position as spokesperson to the world for the planet’s only remaining super-power, arguably the most powerful black woman in modern history.

She is an opinionated ideologue with many detractors. She is often vilified by the opposition for her neo-conservative outlook. The Rolling Stones tore her to shreds recently with their song Sweet Neo-Con and an editorial featuring her speaking in ebonics on the topic of nuclear proliferation ran in many mainstream papers after her appointment to the cabinet. The point is that a lot of people don’t like her and opine about how idiotic her ideas are constantly.

And yet-
I’ve never heard a single conservative accuse her critics of being afraid of a strong black woman. Could it be that the right has a greater respect for the concept of debate based on ideas than the Left?

Outer Space Outrage!

2006-08-16T18:46:00.000-04:00

I’m a fan of space and astronomy and all that wild blue yonder stuff. So it hurts me to say that there are two stories in the news today that have left me in a state of annoyance.

The first is the unbelievable information that NASA has apparently lost its original footage of the Apollo moon missions. How in the hell does something like that happen?

I know they’ve worked on a lot of projects in their history and I’m sure there’s a gazillion things on file- but landing human beings on the moon is considered by most to be the most important success in that history. How does that get misplaced?

Next time file it under M for Moon, or Moron.

The second disturbing story comes out of Prague. A group of elite astronomers and other eminent space-folk have been holed up for quite some time trying to come up with an internationally recognized definition of the word ‘planet.’

This early report proves the point that 2500 brilliant minds are sure to screw up just about anything. Pluto is the sticking point. In the way-back days certain moons were considered planets. Then they were stripped of the status and Pluto was discovered and bestowed the title of planet- but that was before we figured out that Pluto was really a part of a larger system known as the Kuiper Belt.

The Kuiper Belt is a whole mess of orbiting debris just beyond Neptune that resembles the asteroid belt that orbits the Sun between Mars and Jupiter. These belts are a bit like still-born planets, a field of debris that never quite gained enough gravitational attraction to coalesce into a proper round planet like ours.

I don’t have a problem with Pluto being considered a planet but the reclassification of certain moons in the solar system as planets is simply wrong.

Pluto is a planet because it’s gravity is strong enough to make it round and it is orbiting the Sun first. Meaning it is primarily orbiting the Sun. A moon of any kind orbits something else first and the Sun second. If we include one of Pluto’s moons, why not include our own?

If Pluto is a planet then any other round object in the Kuiper Belt that can be found is a planet as well. Which can get dice-y because there’s a lot of crap out there, surely some of it will be found to be round in the future.

The answer is to copy the star classification system. Astronomers are happy with two categories; major and minor stars. Likewise we should classify the stuff within our own solar system as being either major or minor as well. We should have major planets and minor planets. Let the experts agree on what it takes to be a major planet and classify all the rest as minor. At the end of the day we’d end up with eight to ten Majors and potentially thousands of Minors.

But no moons!

The Sun must be their first dancing partner damnit!

BTW:
Did you know that Pluto is smaller than the United States of America?

It’s also 3.7 billion miles from the Sun.

It takes sunlight eight minutes to get from the Sun to the Earth- but it takes it another 241 minutes to get to Pluto.

The Pundit Succumbs

2006-08-15T17:31:00.002-04:00

Let hypocrisy reign!

After railing against MySpace.Com repeatedly since the advent of the viral internet phenomenon I have succumbed- well, sort of.

The collection of so-called friends that have never actually been met, the hounds trolling for sex, and the non-stop basking in personal fame that permeates the personal pages still turns me off. But the ability to connect a small radio project with its audience was too much to resist. So we’ve created a page for MPR: Mad Pundit Radio on the dreaded beast.

www.myspace.com/madpundit is now the online headquarters for our little Saturday afternoon talk show on Atlanta’s 640 WGST.

It’ll be nice to have a place for listeners to correspond with us and amongst themselves. We’ll preview each show with topic lists, as well as solicit topics from our faithful friends who will be encouraged to let us know what they’d like to hear us pontificate upon on upcoming broadcasts.

The most important reason for making the move to My Space is to help get our live shows, the mythic Pundit Panels, back on track. We had a great time doing live shows back in ‘04 and it’s high time we got that insanity back in gear. Our plan is to move the live shows from local bars to college campuses in an effort to get a more engaged audience, and we’re hoping that the viral marketing of My Space will help us fill the shows with enthusiastic audiences.

We’ll see.

Memory Strip Pt.II

2006-08-14T17:39:00.000-04:00

Memory #4
I wake up in the middle of the night a few times because of some god-awful squealing coming from under my bed. It’s high-pitched and otherworldly and doesn’t stop. Someone lifts me out of my bed and takes me to another room. Later that day I’m brought back to see a box filled with the litter of puppies that were birthed beneath my mattress.

Memory #5
We bring dad home from prison. I give him a tour of the apartment and when he bends over to pet the dog I warn him to be careful because, “she pees all over the place.”

Memory #6
Mickey the dog is dead. I see her limp body in the alley by the side door. I think she’s asleep but she doesn’t respond.

I find out years later that she was poisoned by a neighbor who had some kind of running feud with the family concerning the disposition of the dog. I liked her but apparently my neighbor did not.

Memory #7
We’ve moved down the street to a larger house right next to a brick drugstore and I have two dreams that haunt me at a marrow level to this day.

[Dream 1] The Sun King-
I’m looking out to the backyard. The yard is a hill that rolls down to the train tracks and access road at the bottom of our lot. But my eyes are skyward, trained on a sun that looks like a man’s face with what appears to be a large straw-like hollow cylinder running sideways through the whole thing. The sun’s cheeks are puffed up (Dizzy Gillespie style) as he blows a large swirl of windy air up and out the top of the straw, exiting just above the ear.

I later came across this image in a list of archetypal dreams while reading a Karl Junge book on dreams. It’s interesting that it is the sun that creates the wind. But I can’t claim any sterling insight- I was just a five year old dreaming.

[Dream II] Killer Giraffes-
Why this one scares the hell out of me is a puzzle. It frightened the daylights out of me then and the thought of it still brings immediate goose-bumps to this day.

It’s a simple image:
I dream (or was it real) that I wake up and open the window curtain.

My bed is right up next to the window and I pull back the curtain to see the long necks of seven or eight giraffes (no bodies, just necks and faces) lined up against the brick wall of the drugstore next door. In unison they lean toward my house and window in an effort to get me. Up and down they bob their heads and I’m paralyzed with fear.

It know it seems innocuous, comical, and not the least bit disturbing. But I’m getting creeped out right now just writing about. So I’m gonna stop.

Memory Strip Pt.1

2006-08-10T20:07:00.000-04:00

By any standard of blogging I should be posting something to do with the latest foiled terrorist plot to blow up several trans-Atlantic planes heading from England to the United States. But- I mean... really, everyone is opining on that. And I’m sure someone else has covered the same ground I would have tread so let’s do something else.

I alluded in an earlier blog to the fact that it becomes more difficult to retain memories the older we get. Since it’s important to know your own story I think it might be worthwhile to record the stuff I still remember at my current tender age of 42. That way I can remind myself of what happened in the future even if the memory center begins to experience slippage.

The memories that stand out appear to be random. Why do we recall one or another days from our childhood? Why do I remember certain moments spent with friends and not others? Who knows? But certain things do stand out and as closely as possible I’ll try to relate these memory vignettes in a linear sort of order. Hopefully by the time I make it to the present I’ll have something like a memory filmstrip that I can unwind and take a look at from time to time.

So here we go-

Memory #1
The very, very first thing I remember is bleeding in the bathtub.

I’m probably about 21/2 and I think we live in a rundown place in Detroit.

Someone has left a razor on the lip of the tub and the memory begins after my curiosity has gotten the best of me. I look down to see blood in the water then I look up to see a bigger person pulling me out of the tub. End of memory-

Memory #2
I’m sitting on a couch with a couple of other kids. Someone has put a big floppy hat and sunglasses on me in an attempt to cheer me up. I’m screaming my head off because my mom has left me with a sitter that I don’t know. The poor lady is doing everything she can to get me to stop crying- she holds me up to the mirror to see what I look like in the wacky hat and glasses. It’s not working. I’m still screaming like a banshee when the memory goes dark.

Memory #3
This is my first full memory. It is early morning and still dark outside so it must be 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning. I’m just shy of my 5th birthday and I am again looking back at myself in the mirror. But this time there is a connection. This is my first fully conscious moment. By that I mean I actually seem to wake up to being alive in this moment.

It’s the beginning of wonder and abstract thought and all of that. I seem to look at myself and say, “hey, that’s me.”

The lighting is stark. I’m standing on one of those kiddy step-up ladders beneath an exposed fluorescent bulb, the kind that twists into concentric circles, and I’m combing my cowlick-plagued hair. The family is getting ready to visit my father in a prison located somewhere in Ohio (my best guess is Columbus since we were living in a small town called Ashville on the outskirts).

The next thing I know the whole family is eating Kentucky Fried Chicken (it wasn’t KFC yet) with my father in a room made up of picnic tables on a concrete floor. The place is full of other families doing the same thing with their incarcerated kin. This is the first time I have any notion of having a father. He went to jail when I was two, shortly before the razor incident, and I have no practical perception of his existence until this moment.

My recollection jump cuts to playing with my older sister and other kids in a small playground surrounded with what appear to be very high concrete walls.

Another jump cut and I’m back in the dining area and I’m running around the picnic table even though adults are telling me to stop. Then the guy they call my father tells me to stop or else. I clearly remember thinking, “I don’t even know this man, what’s he gonna do?”

-Jump cut to being stomach down over his lap while he smacks my ass-

-End of memory.

Who knew prisoners were allowed to spank their kids?

I Love Starting Projects- it's the finishing...

2006-08-08T18:10:00.000-04:00

Ah... the obligation to blog. It can be such a pain sometimes. I’ve taken the opportunity afforded by god-awful temperatures and the two week absence of my wife and 8 year old to do very little of anything, including posting to this blog.

When I say I haven’t done anything I mean anything that others might consider worthwhile. I’m always doing something- it’s just that most of it, while fun, usually adds up to nothing.

I spent last Friday afternoon having a blast trippin around Little Five with Greg and Lucky. We’ve been working on an idiotic idea I have for turning an old Foto-Caption piece we did called Homeless Like Me into a short film using the old pictures augmented with movement (PBS ‘Civil War’ style) and recorded dialogue and ambient sound. The idiotic idea was then stymied by reality.

Greg and I both work at radio stations, but they compete and it’s a bit of a number to slip one or the other into the studio of their competition to record the dialogue properly. I finally got permission to make it happen from my program director- but then he turned around and quit before the recording date arrived. Since I don’t really know much about the folks above him in the management chain I’m not in the mood to ask again. So screw it- we’ll do something different.

After Greg went to work Lucky and I hashed out an idea that should be easy to shoot. It’s about a single guy dealing with three different types of women that he takes on dates at the same coffee shop. Greg’s dealing with that world right now- so good dialogue should be easy to bleed out of him. And I’m fascinated with the different types of women that can make the same man turn his head. I think it’s a good study that could make for an interesting seven or eight minutes of film- and I have a friend who owns an ice cream\coffee shop- so it should be easy to find a set.

I’ve also gotten this stupid book I’ve been thinking about or writing on and off for the last four years into some kind of linear shape. I finally have it type-set but there are still things I want to change every time I read it. It’s funny. It’s not very long and the more I work on it, the shorter it gets. For the most part I’m happy with where I have it but there’s still a little bit of ‘suck’ in there. So my wife is doing the illustrations while I try to remove the remaining amount of ‘suck’- and then I’ll figure out how to get it published. Maybe I’ll publish it myself. I’m good at wasting money like that.

I should write a book about wasting money. I could emerge as the all-time guru on that one.

The Civilized & Enlightened Pt.2

2006-08-03T00:58:00.000-04:00

I had lunch with a friend today who told me about a friend of his who hates George W. Bush so much that she gets beside herself every time his name comes up. She is a smart person who shares his love for science and knowledge but has no interest in entertaining a single idea that might portray the President in a favorable light. Why?
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My mother-in-law recently returned from Europe blaming Israel for all of the blood and gore that has been featured in the 24 hour news cycle lately. Why?
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I saw another in a long line of pundits on television recently blaming politicians and business leaders for the violence that plagues the inner-cities of our country. His reasoning that societal neglect left young people with no option other than criminality to make money was accepted without debate by the reporter conducting the interview. Why?
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The answer to all of these questions is that it is easier for most people to blame the messenger than it is to accept the frightening message they bring.

We are a civilized and enlightened people who find it difficult to believe that the world is chock-full of uncivilized and unenlightened enemies of peace.

Because we know the fruits of civility and enlightenment it is hard to accept that anyone else would knowingly choose anarchy and bloodshed without good reason. Many people reason that we must have done something to deserve this level of wrath from those who target us for everything from terrorist attacks to common muggings.

This transference of blame allows those in denial to cling to the notion that the rest of the world is every bit as enlightened and peace-loving as they are. This is why so much of the criticism of the Prez, Israel, and big business is bolstered with conspiracy theories that create a rationale for their supposed evil behavior.

According to these critics Bush pursues war in Iraq in order to line the pockets of his Big Oil buddies. They can regale you for hours with tales of Haliburton and cross-country oil pipeline deals.

These same folks will seize on any weakness in the Israeli form of democracy to prove that Israel is no more freedom loving than its Arab foes. And if you stick around long enough they’ll take pains to point out that the lack of a boost in the minimum wage over the last decade has left inner-city youth with no choice but to join a criminal enterprise to make good money and get ahead.

This myopic vision of a planet full of like-minded peace-loving citizens being forced into abhorrent behavior as a form of self-defense from American and Geo-Corporate hegemony is a complete fallacy.

But it serves to shield these enlightened souls from the painful truth of local neighborhoods enslaved by a conscience-less criminal element that takes control and sets the rules of the street.

Or worse yet- the reality of a large slice of humanity held hostage to the whims of bloodthirsty dictators with an eye on regional and world domination.

No one could be that cruel without legitimate provocation, right?

It must be Bush.

It must be the Israelis.

It must be the big corporations.

Right?

The Civilized Are Losing

2006-07-30T17:13:00.000-04:00

It is possible that the good guys are now so civilized that it is impossible for them to adequately defend themselves against bad guys who don’t recognize any bounds of morality.

On the Lebanon\Israeli border Hezbollah deliberately fire rockets from civilian areas knowing that Israel will respond by attempting to knock out the launcher. The calculation is that while the individual rockets launched will probably have very little impact on Israeli life and limb, the return strike by the IDF will deliver a public relations bonanza when the innocents placed in harms way by Hezbollah are killed and paraded before the video cameras.

The responsibility for events at Qana, where over 60 civilians were killed by an Israeli guided missile, should be laid at the feet of Hezbollah where it belongs. They are using civilians as shields to fire from behind and they should be condemned for it. But Israel is a sovereign state that has a right and an obligation to take out the launchers that threaten their villages and cities. No matter the location.

We in the West and in Israel are civilized and progressive and want nothing to do with the bloodshed of innocents. Unfortunately we are faced with an enemy that knows that about us and is more than willing to draw fire toward their own women and children to shake us up and destroy our morale. It is depressing enough to recognize this reality about the foe, but my mood is made worse by the creeping realization that the enemy may have come up with a winning strategy.

Nearly all of the world’s condemnation has been aimed at Israel during this latest conflict, notwithstanding the fact that Hezbollah isn’t even a state. A crackpot militia has succeeded in getting a platform on the world stage, and if a ceasefire is brokered soon, will be able to claim a victory by standing strong against the vaunted IDF.

Meanwhile a ragtag insurgency in Iraq is holding the best funded and trained army in all of history at bay. In Baghdad we walk on eggshells while the enemy targets innocents.

In Lebanon the Israeli Defense Forces spend no end of futile time trying to eliminate civilian targets and are told they are overreacting against a group that only launches toward Israeli citizens with its own rockets. All this takes place as the world fiddles away while Iran persistently enriches uranium with an eye on the next decade.

If Harry Truman were around he’d wipe out every building in every town that housed the enemy and its firepower. That was back when we not only knew how to start, but also had some idea how to END a war.

It is surrender, not ceasefire that sews the seeds of peace. But the enemy may be right that the good guys don’t have what it takes to force terms of surrender any longer.

Reading Material

2006-07-25T19:27:00.000-04:00

I was reading when I should have been writing this afternoon. Perusing my bookmarks I clicked over to The Atlas Society and came across a great in-depth interview with Professor Walter Williams. This dude is the perfect American in my view.

That read inspired me to check out Mr. William’s home page where I found a very well written article by Thomas DiLorenzo that traces the four thousand year tragic history of price controls.

These guys represent my way of thinking more than most. Al Franken and Ann Coulter may do a better job of entertaining while getting across their point of view but they are ultimately equally vapid. It is the objective thinkers that turn me on.

Read them if you like, then read this editorial in today’s Wall Street Journalthat takes the time to point out how good the current economy of the United States truly is.

If you like.

Hezbullshit

2006-07-24T20:00:00.000-04:00

I was about to settle into my nightly ritual of sleeping pills, science channel and eventual sleep when I realized that I hadn’t posted here in a few days... and I started to feel bad about it so I figured I could at least take a moment out my perpetual ‘me’ time to point out the only thing that needs to be pointed out about the current Israeli\Hezbollah dust up taking place in that most unholy of places- the Holy Land.

Enough of the debate about who started what in this latest round of all-out war. The media with their bias toward fair play, no matter how heinous the enemy, is hell-bent on bringing us the Hezbollah PR rabble-rousers who supposedly tell their side of the story.

But of course they don’t really tell you their side of the story. They lay out arguments about their dignified purposes and sell the Israeli’s as the wild-eyed crazies. All the while never mentioning the one thing that matters most to them and should matter most to us.

They never bring up the fact that Hezbollah as a military organization was created for and still exists for only one reason: the eradication of the State of Israel. That is all anyone needs to know. There is no negotiating with a militia like this. They have pledged to give their lives in service of their cause and to a man they would rather die than give up the fight.

If we’re to take the time to listen to their side they should at least be bold enough to state their goals clearly. Let’s get their point of view on the table and have the world debate it. Who will stand with those who are looking to eradicate Israel? It would be nice to take a roll call.

Israel is a sovereign state. It is a controversial sovereign state, but it is a state nonetheless. Let the other sovereign state in the world that is willing to allow a deadly and hostile militia to be encamped on its own border be the first to tell Israel that she should do the same. My guess is you won’t find any takers in Europe, or the U.N., or anywhere else.

Israel has a right to exist.

Hezbollah does not.

A Musical Interlude

2006-07-20T19:39:00.000-04:00

Let's take a moment to check out some of the music vids on Eric's YouTube high rotation list.

First- a primer on the dude with the acoustic guitar- the great Alex Chilton.

If you know his story, cool. If not, plug his name into a search engine and check out his bio. He's an original.

Then- a couple from Elvis Costello when he had less weight and less all-round baggage.

Enjoy.

big star - intro (come as you are)

This is the great Alex Chilton. The elusive and reclusive leader of Big Star-

After nearly 30 years of ignoring the worlds request for his attention on the subject of his old band. He suddenly re-forms the outfit, records a new record, and embarks on a limited tour that rolled through Atlanta a couple of months back.

This clip shows the idiosyncratic genius as the show begins. I stood at nearly the same angle as this video perspective and loved it as the man sat in that chair for nearly thirty minutes ignoring everyone on and offstage.

As this video begins he just stands up, gets rid of the jacket, tosses his cigarette and rips into a brilliant set.

I love this neurotic bastard.

After the set he simply turned around, picked up his coat and what appeared to be a CVS bag, waved to the crowd and walked away.

All hail!

2006-07-20T19:28:00.000-04:00

The Box Tops - The Letter

Here's the man in 1967 as the 16 or 17 year old lead singer of The Box Tops. They were a Boy band put together by a bunch of studio execs. But they had Chilton- so they had great songs like this even though band members were not involved in the songwriting.

2006-07-20T19:24:00.000-04:00

The Replacements - Alex Chilton

Here's the song about the man that brought the man to the attention of a new generation.

Which turned out to be yet another generation of Big Star fans for the man to turn his back on.

I'm sure The Replacements asked the man to appear in the video. It's no surprise the man is a no-show.

2006-07-20T19:21:00.000-04:00

Big Star - September Gurls - live Stockholm

Here's the reunited and refurbished most important known\unknown band in rock history- Big Star.

Yeah, there's Alex Chilton finally sort of enjoying his old songs.

2006-07-20T19:07:00.000-04:00

Elvis Costello - Big Sister's Clothes Live

Great Performance. Unbelievable Sweater.

2006-07-20T19:01:00.000-04:00

Elvis Costello - No Dancing

Here's Elvis in his prime. No politics, no bullshit... just raw talent.

The Politics of Computing

2006-07-18T18:41:00.000-04:00

When I told the I.T. guy at work that I had purchased a Mac laptop rather than another in a long line of Dell PC products, he could barely manage to hide his contempt. He rolled his eyes and let me know that I had just wasted my money on a product that can’t do a tenth of what a new Dell PC could have done. He then turned away as if to say, “I never knew you, you’re dead to me now.”

Wow. I knew the Windows and Apple people were into bickering about which platform was best, but I had no idea that the blood ran this deep. I’m always amazed at how many people get personally attached to one line of product or another, no matter the category.

When I bought a Subaru WRX I was besieged with invitations to join one of the many WRX enthusiasts clubs in the area. Why in the hell would I do something as silly as joining a club of like-minded car buyers?

I bought the car because I like it but that doesn’t mean I’ll automatically like you because you like it too. Why not choose to socialize with people who happen to wear the same watch I wear. It’s absurd!

Windows partisans aside, I’ve been digging getting to know my new MacBook Pro. It looks great, it has an assload of power, and in general appears more suited to some of the things I’m working on right now.

It’s cool, it’s fun- but it isn’t an entree into a new way of thinking for me. I’ll assess its value solely on what I get out of it in terms of productivity. It’s a product not a lifestyle.

So don’t invite me to your parties Apple geeks. I’ve just been disowned by the Windows Warriors and kinda feel like wandering the desert alone for awhile.

An Open War

2006-07-16T12:58:00.000-04:00

Is it too much to ask for one week of relative peace?

Given that I was on vacation this week I made a decision to just forget about the Headline news, let life slow down a bit, enjoy the wife and kids and all that. Surely, just one week free of Anderson Cooper exclusives and Fox News Alerts isn’t asking too much.

Apparently it was because by mid-week of paying only glancing attention to the news it was becoming apparent that the potential seeds of World War III were being sewn in the Middle East.

Ah, The Middle East. What a joyful bunch- so reasonable and reliable. We are all truly blessed that the practitioners of the planets three most popular forms of voodoo all claim one piece of land as their divine home. Aren’t we all so lucky that these forces have the God excuse to remain in perpetual war (sometimes cold, sometimes hot) with one another throughout the millennia? After all, the territorial disputes negotiated by mere mortals in other areas of the world just wouldn’t do for these folks since each of their non-existent Gods are looking down and judging the actions of their faithful.

It’s just wonderful, isn’t it?

That being said:
Israel is doing the right thing by coaxing the proxies of Iran and Syria (Hezbollah and Hamas) into an open war. Let’s face it- the diplomats have failed miserably in this region by continually brokering deals that leave these militant groups intact to continue to cause trouble during the several shaky truces and ceasefires brokered at the bargaining table.

The fact is that the Palestinians could have an enduring peace tomorrow if they wanted it!

Yes- there are plenty of nasty things that have taken pace on both sides over the modern era of this biblical conflict- and Yes- the Israeli side has its fair share of radicals. But unlike the Palestinians, the state of Israel has chosen to be guided by the principles of progress and enlightenment.

Israel holds itself to a world standard not shared by its enemies and has proven that they are good for their word when making agreements and signing multi-party treaties. The Iranian/Syrian contingent and their proxies, on the other hand, were long ago revealed to be a pack of charlatans and liars who negotiate to gain short-term leverage, only to find the first convenient excuse to toss out whatever treaties have been signed when it suits their goals and purposes.

The Israelis can be trusted to abide by an actual negotiated peace- their enemies cannot. Therefore it is right for Israel to make the decision to have an open war with Hezbollah because it allows them to state the complete destruction of that organization as the mission of the war.

They should wipe out Hezbollah, then do the same with Hamas- and challenge Iran and Syria to fight them directly or get out of the business of funding proxy militias to do their bidding visa vie Israel.

Diplomacy has failed.

Let’s hope war does a better job at securing a true and lasting peace.

My fingers are crossed.

French-y Fun

2006-07-10T12:22:00.000-04:00

I’m not a fan of soccer. But I am a fan of French misery. It was the prospect of that entire nation of Frogs thrown into a collective state of depression that convinced me to Tivo the race and watch the World Cup final in real time yesterday.

I don’t know much about the rules or ways of the game but I knew who the enemy was and I had a great time rooting for the Italians to whoop up on those arrogant architects of cheese-burps and false pride. I’m not a tribal-ist. I have very few prejudices and ethnic hang-ups, but I revel in a bad day for the French.

To my untrained eye it looked like the Franco-snobs were out hustling the connoisseurs of all things meatball for most of the game. It was touch and go as commentators discussed the bad calls that had led to a French goal.

Perhaps I had delayed the gratification of a good race just to be laughed at by those stinky people at the other end of the Chunnel. But then things began to break in the way of all things holy when some dude who is a legend of French soccer pulled a Bill Romanowski and displayed a level of bad sportsmanship that appeared to have actually shocked some of the inebriated Toadies in attendance.

After Mr. Wonderful was tossed out of the game for head butting a rival in the solar plexus it was a downhill spiral that culminated in Italy beating the French on penalty kicks. I don’t care about soccer, but I leapt from the couch and howled with joy as the pride of the French peoples fell in defeat. It was a cheap thrill, but a thrill none the less.

A bad day for the French is always a good day for me.

Thought From The Bathtub

2006-07-06T17:56:00.000-04:00

I’ve never cared much for nostalgia. It seems fun to sit back and remember- remember when we were young, and hip, and relevant and all of that. And then there’s the siren song of memories from a carefree childhood. But I’ve always found it to be a trap that ultimately leads to depression.

After the initial rush of better days now gone, one is left with the depressing reality that those days are in fact long gone, never to return. Nostalgia has always left a bitter taste that’s kept me on guard against its lure for years now. I thought for awhile that it held no benefit at all.

Then- while relaxing in the tub it occurred to me that our identity, our sense of self is wrapped up in the memory of things experienced up to this point in time. Without memory to provide context, we would simply become unhinged and lost. Just hang out with an Alzheimer’s patient for awhile to see what I mean.

I’ve read that it becomes more and more difficult to hang on to memory as we age. So it occurred to me while soaking in the hot bath that nostalgia may well be an evolutionary device that creates a longing for days gone by- in order to keep us mulling the past- in an effort to continually refresh the old memory stick.

I used to tell people that I was nostalgic for the future. I never really knew what that meant, but it sounded somewhat profound so I kept it in the wit arsenal. But now I’ve seen the light.

Nostalgia is my friend.

It’s there to keep reminding me who I am.

Then again-
I’m no scientist.
I’m just a guy who likes to lie in the bathtub.

Mad Pundit Radio will be filling in for the vacationing Kimmer on 640 WGST tomorrow (7-7-06).

We’ll have issues, street theater, contests, the rednecks and the erudite types- so join us from 3-6:30p.

We’ll take calls and all that-
plus you can shoot us an e-mail anytime during the show at madpundit@yahoo.com

Join us.

PastryAtism!

2006-07-05T05:01:00.000-04:00

Lest anyone say my wife isn't a patriot...

Quick Hits

2006-07-04T10:37:00.000-04:00

A federal judge Thursday temporarily blocked the state of Georgia from preventing registered sex offenders from living within 1,000 feet of school bus stops.
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I’ve labored in ambivalence on this topic for a long time. On one hand, re-socialized child molesters have done whatever jail time was handed down by the justice system. My default position is that if you’ve paid your debt to society you should be allowed to blend back into society. But the other hand is weighted in this case. The recidivism rate attached to these characters is outrageous.

So I’ve decided to jump off the fence and suggest a solution:

It is time to afford child molestation a special classification that demands jail time as only part of the mandated judicial response. The initial incarceration should be followed with a lifetime probation that amounts to a mandatory sentence of life tracking.

We have GPS technology and it’s time we used it. Before leaving jail each child molester should have a chip implanted under the skin that allows them to be tracked by a national system that stores a large cache of memory. At the first report of random child molestation authorities should be able to log into a databank of ‘where-were-they’s’ on a local, statewide, and national basis that would show the exact locations of all known past violators during the moments surrounding the crime.

Tag ‘em and track ‘em.
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Israel is pushing into Gaza in hopes of reclaiming
their soldier.
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I think it might be the right time for
Israel to declare all-out war and clean up Hamas...
meaning kill them all.

This ‘government’ in the Palestinian area wants perpetual conflict and Israel would be smart to take it to them. Better a showdown while they are easily defeated and in a weak geo-political position. Their provocation of Israel with a sanctioned abduction of an Israeli soldier is a loser on the world stage.

The act of military abduction was a clear act of war.

So crush ‘em.
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Breathing any amount of someone else's tobacco smoke harms nonsmokers, the surgeon general has declared - a strong condemnation of secondhand smoke that is sure to fuel nationwide efforts to ban smoking in public.
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I offer no science.

I will just tell you what I know.

This Surgeon General is completely full of crap.

There is no such thing as a harm caused to non-smokers by contact, especially casual contact, with the cigarette smoke being ingested by others. There is no death certificate listing secondhand smoke as the cause of death for a reason. Because it has never happened!

Well, are you going to believe me or a middle-aged man dressed up like the most un-hip member of Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band?

Relax- don’t smoke ‘em if you don’t got ‘em.

Treason!

2006-06-27T18:08:00.000-04:00

The New York Times egregious revelation of the Bush administration’s legal but covert policy concerning the tracking of terrorist funds worldwide is rightfully being called treason by many.

The truth is that if these reporters had given this information directly to Osama and his henchmen under cover of night they would have been jailed without question. But because they enlightened the whole world at once about this up till now successful counter-terrorism measure they’re protected by a lack of specific motive to tip off the enemy. Of course Al Qaeda will get the info, but indirectly enough to cover the political asses of the arrogant fools dressed as editors at the Times main office.

While I sympathize with those in and out of government calling for a criminal investigation of those reporters and editors responsible, it isn’t the proper way to handle the situation. The press is free in this country and no one from the Times will ever pay for this crime. It just won’t happen. But there is a better way-

It’s time to vigorously investigate, find, and bring treason charges against those in government that choose to leak this stuff to the irresponsible journalists currently roaming the halls of many of the major press outlets. There has been a systematic leaking of sensitive material out of the Departments of State, Defense, and others over the last couple of years that can lead one only to believe that there are elements of the permanent bureaucracy that are actively working to undermine the Commander-in-Chief at a time of war. This is treason, plain and simple.

The leaks are more than likely coming from disgruntled lifers who have a moral problem with current foreign policy. They almost assuredly view themselves as heroic whistleblowers but they are nothing of the kind. They are rogue elements with delusions of grandeur convinced that there judgment is more enlightened than the judgment of those they serve.

These people may be smart but what they forget is that they are not elected. They are bureaucrats who have no right to circumvent or attempt in any way to short-circuit any policies coming out of an administration that they disagree with. The administration has the right to be wrong because they were elected to make policy by the citizens of the country… and they were elected twice to boot.

Forget about the idiots at the New York Times. Make an example out of a couple of lifelong pencil pushers in D.C. by sending them to serve hard time or suffer the death penalty for jeopardizing the security of the nation- and you’ll see the leaks dry up real quick.

Fast Heart, Weak Stomach

2006-06-25T14:37:00.000-04:00

Well it was bound to happen-

I’ve had a lifelong love affair with racing (well okay, I fell out of love with it from the age of 15 until I was 37, but it has colored my life.) But I’ve had a completely lifelong battle with a weak stomach. These are two elements of a man’s life that are bound to cross paths sooner or later.

When I was a kid, getting carsick was nearly synonymous with taking a ride in the car. As I got older the switch to the front seat cured most of my motor-induced queasiness. To this day a ride in a backseat is still an all but certain predictor of stomach trouble. My stomach is weak and my head and heart love to go fast. Trouble-

Jesse Dupree called to let me know his buddy’s racing experience school was down at Atlanta Motor Speedway, and that I was invited. I didn’t think much about the trouble my stomach’s been giving me lately. I only thought about the idea of strapping into a cup car and being allowed to go up to 170mph, and when he told me to bring along my visiting brother-in-law you couldn’t have kept me away from the track. I would live at the track if I could.

The first red flag cropped up while driving back from the Saturday show on WGST. My tummy felt funky. It was full of coffee and Red Bull and nothing else. “I’ll eat a sandwich when I get home,” I thought. “I’ll be fine.”

We got to the track and everything was great. Jesse introduced me to Kelley the owner of the Speed Tech Auto Racing School. We took the short pre-drive class, suited up and got strapped into our cars. I had been reminded of my stomach plight on the drive down, but once I’m in the thick of things my mind is focused on driving.

I had only done an average of 156mph previously at AMS when I did the Petty School. Jesse and Kelley promised that I’d get up to 165 or 170 if I had the balls. I pulled out of pit road, took it to the track, and jammed the accelerator to the floor as hard as I could when coming out of turns 2 and 4 for 10 thrilling laps. After getting the checkered flag I began to coast it home and slow it down and that’s when the trouble started.

The god-awful heat and just experienced G-forces began conspiring against me as I brought the car to a gentle stop in front of one of the instructors on pit road. I knew I was woozy so I got the helmet off and got out as quick as possible. I thought some fresh air would be the tonic I’d need to settle my little tum-tums. But as I walked back behind the pit wall and sat down- it happened.

It’s funny- when you vomit you don’t care who’s there or who’s watching. It wasn’t massive and I was as discreet as possible, but I left about two and a half heaves of red bull, coffee and the remnants of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich right there behind the pit wall.

The good news is I did break 165mph. I have the nads. I just need to work on the grace.

Thanks to Jesse and Kelley for giving me the chance to go fast. I had a lot of fun, but I’ll try to lay down some 'cleaner' laps next time around.

What Makes Them Different

2006-06-22T15:41:00.001-04:00

Like so much of the news coming out of this war in Iraq, the knee-jerk responses I was exposed to in the wake of the capture and subsequent mutilation of two of our boys at the hands of the enemy were mostly extreme and off the mark.

The Left’s insistence that it’s the latest evidence of a situation gone mad, an entrenched mess that we should abort as soon as possible, is only slightly more delusional than those on the right who lack the ability to admit that this cuts deeper.

Yes, my friends on the right-
People do die in war and we have to toughen up… yada, yada, yada. But death on the battlefield and desecration are different things. I don’t look forward to finding out exactly what was done to Privates Thomas Lowell Tucker and Kristian Menchaca. The early reports from the military were so deliberately vague, such a fumbling for truthful yet respectful words that the picture of a sadistic blood-bath is the only image that conjures with resonance.

I know we have the best army stocked with the best trained soldiers in the history of the planet. But I don’t believe there is any training that can prepare a man for the mental shock of any sort of prolonged torture. This wasn’t torture for a purpose- to elicit pertinent information then throw the prisoner back into the gulag until future information is needed. This was torture for sport. The outcome certain, only the nature and number of horrific minutes to be endured was left in question.

In the hands of madmen half a world away they were forced to pay for sins attributed to us. They were our kids martyred in our name.

And to my friends on the Left-
We must respond with strength in order to bring these psychopathic monsters to justice. This insurgency is not a legitimate resistance to our current guardianship of the Iraqi territory.

These are hucksters, charismatic leaders and brainwashed zealots that will never tire of killing us. They have no interest in coexistence. They have a mission, cynical at the top, feverish in the ranks, to wipe the earth of the Infidels. And you and your loved ones are all Infidels. Everyone you know is an Infidel. It doesn’t matter who you voted for in 2004, or how many anti-war rallies you’ve attended. You’re an Infidel until you acquiesce to the desires of their version of pop stars, the mindless clerics that bring blood, anger, and ruin to everything they touch.

Why is it so easy for liberals to identify the inherent dangers of religious fundamentalism here at home, but utterly fail to recognize the true menace posed by it’s out of control cousin in the Middle East?

Thomas Lowell Tucker and Kristian Menchaca are the closest thing to martyrs this country will ever have. To them is owed a special place in our hearts and minds. They were humiliated and desecrated for being just like us- And we are duty-bound to resolution through victory if we are to be honored enough to be seen as just like them.

2004

2006-06-21T18:30:00.000-04:00

I started this blog hoping I'd have the balls to let it get odd. So here's what I wrote today. Are they lyrics? Is it poetry? Who gives a damn?

2004

She knew where to find me
Long after the show
Her smile was a whisper
Her face was in tow

She said-
Zero the soul
To lose the coil and coal
And just remove the feared
‘Cos everybody’s weird

She said-
Some friends are like drugs
A knife, a look, and a cross
Light is the upside of dark
And found- the flipside of lost

But-
Treason pushed deep in stone
Will leave a print that’s made of bone
And a sailor’s crooked bait
Hooks a loser the winner’s hate

She said-
Grammar is sanctuary
From the roller revolution
Life springs important
Then recedes to institution

So-
File fortune under F
And carnage undersea
Fall backward into death
Counting sheep until you’re free

Universal Ignorance

2006-06-20T18:32:00.000-04:00

Here’s a small item that fascinated me.

While reading through James Taranto’s daily Wall Street Journal blog I came across this snide comment:

"Apparently, there are many, many universes," goofball general Wesley Clark told an Angry Left convention in Las Vegas recently, according to The Weekly Standard. "And we're in this one."
We're not sure which universe Clark is in, but the guys at TruthOut ("That's where we keep it") live in an alternate universe in which Karl Rove is under indictment in connection with the Valerie Plame kerfuffle.

Now, I read this blog more than most precisely because the guy has a good nose for sniffing out politically correct B.S. and all that- but this cosmic blow off shows that almost everyone is afflicted with a personal voodoo that will sooner or later serve as an intellectual blinder.

I’m no fan of Wesley Clark but what he’s talking about has validity. The best science is leading in the direction of multiple universes that exist within a framework of 11 dimensions.

Check out this article link- then come back.

A theory is just that… but some very smart people are telling us that the math and physics is leading them in this direction whether they personally like it or not.

Sure, it’s a wild, mind-blowing concept. But is it really any stranger than the idea that somebody was nailed to a cross in order to give us the choice to believe in him, and thereby save our souls? As bizarre theories go, the major religions can’t be beat.

You can make your own choice in these matters, but the arrogance displayed in the type of smug attack in Taranto’s blog is just galling.
To me anyways-

BTW:
If Jesus knew everything, why didn’t he tell people that the world was round and was orbiting a typical star in a vast galaxy? It was just as true then as it is now. Surely he would know… right?

Anderlina!

2006-06-19T17:30:00.000-04:00

What happens when a self-important actress wants credibility and the granddaddy of 24 hour network news desires to be seen as cool and happening? Angelina Jolie appears on Anderson Cooper 360 for, as the CNN promo puts it, “her first interview since the birth of Shiloh.” That’s what happens.

It should come as no surprise that the woman who longs to be more than just another starlet is hooking up with the guy who longs to be so much more than your average news reporter. On his daily blog at CNN.com he takes pains to point out his own motivational innocence:

There are a lot of ridiculous stories circling on the Internet, spread by alleged "insiders" who claim that CNN or its parent company Time Warner somehow paid for the chance to talk to Angelina. These anonymous "sources" claim that People Magazine and CNN had some kind of joint deal to secure rights to photos and the interview.

I have no idea what People Magazine did or did not pay for those photos of the Jolie-Pitt family. It's been reported they paid as much as $4 million, which was donated to a variety of charities in Africa, but I have no way of knowing if that is true or not. What I do know is that CNN did not pay anything -- directly or indirectly -- to get Angelina Jolie to sit down for an interview.

And he waxes eloquent about his up-to-now misunderstood interviewee:

A lot of celebrities have causes and show up to talk about them when cameras are around, but the truth is that Angelina Jolie knows what she is talking about when the subject is refugees. To use a cliche, she doesn't just talk the talk, she walks the walk. She has traveled to some 20 countries over the years as a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, and she says she donates one-third of her income to charitable causes.

I'm not sure what I expected before I met her, but to say I was impressed would be an understatement. She is smart, funny, self-deprecating, and intensely passionate about her children and her work on behalf of refugees.

Yes I’m sure the collagen-laden thesbian is charming, and who knows, maybe even well informed. But there is something kabuki-like in this dance between preening personalities. They need each other. Saint Angie needs news cred to be taken seriously on her pet causes while Cooper continues his histrionic attempts to be seen as hip- not your father’s TV reporter, and all that nonsense.

I won’t actually watch the thing. But it is comforting to know that the beautiful people are getting together to chat… and save the world.

The Logic Train #1

2006-06-14T14:49:00.000-04:00

Fact:
There are 125 Billion Galaxies in the universe.

[Perspective- That means there are nearly three times the number of galaxies in the universe as there are dollar bills in Bill Gates' net worth.]

Fact:The galaxy you live in (The Milky Way) is 100,000 Light years wide and it's only one of those aforementioned 125 billion.

[Perspective- The speed of light gets you to the moon in one second. So traveling at that speed it would take you 100,000 years to get from one side of the Milky Way (just one in 125 billion out there)to the other.

Fact:
92 to 93% of the universe is comprised of empty space.

Conclusion #1
The universe covers a lot of territory.

Conclusion#2

In the grand scheme of things the events surrounding these two probably doesn't matter much.

Hugging the Tar Baby

2006-06-13T18:20:00.000-04:00

The endless punditry following the president’s surprise visit to Baghdad seemed to focus on two parallel tracks. Most of the commentary concerned either the impact it would have on the standing and legitimacy of Iraq’s new government or the affect it may or may not have on Bush’s poll numbers here at home.

On Track #1:
Bush’s war summit switch-a-roo is designed to, and I think, will have a solidifying effect on Prime Minister al-Maliki’s fledgling cabinet. There is a lot of work yet to be done- the Constitution needs to be amended to guarantee security and a fair share of oil revenues for the Sunni population, militias of all stripes need to be carrot & stick-ed off the streets and into the military proper, and the insurgency has to be vanquished, to name just a few of the difficult matters to be resolved.

What has to be remembered about the insurgency is that it is comprised of two different kinds of fighter. The minority is a hardcore of zealots who will die in any way possible for the cause. There is no reasoning with these types. They have to be killed or run out of country.

But like all insurgencies the majority of participants are a bit more moderate. Many are simply young idealists caught up in an ‘important’ movement. The moderates can be peeled from the hardcore when a legitimate governing body fills the chaotic vacuum of anarchy. Once the teams are established, most will want to side with an obvious winner.

Bush said a lot of things today to the cabinet, press and soldiers. But most important was what was implied, rather than spoken. Namely: “I’m here… where is Zarqawi?” The more this government looks like a winner, the more moderates will melt back into civilian life, leaving the hardcore easier to find and root out.

On Track #2
The presidency is always a political animal and this chief executive is looking for ways to rebound in the polls and head into November’s mid-term elections with a full head of steam. The Republicans have had some good days recently- A full cabinet in Iraq, a dead Zarqawi, an upgrade at the post of White House spokesperson, and a much relieved Karl Rove. All turns of fortune that the Prez hopes, and probably will, ride to higher poll numbers in the coming weeks.

But:
The thing the pundits are missing, it seems to me, is the real motivation for the trip to the Green Zone. By flying into the teeth of what is considered his party’s largest albatross, the prolonged conflict in Iraq- The president is sending a signal, first and foremost, to the members of his own party in Congress. The politicos at the White House understand that many of their brethren on the Hill are looking to leave them in the cold, distancing themselves from the Iraq conflict in order to dodge campaign bullets back home. They also know that this is a surefire way to lose the majority. The ruling party only has a chance to maintain their ranks by holding hands and rallying together.

By continuing to put his hands around Iraq in very public ways he has, to use Tony Snow’s less than fortunate wording, hugged the Tar Baby. Now he’s stuck to it- and whether they like it or not, they are as well. Soon, the thinking goes, they’ll realize they might as well jump in with both feet and make the best out of it.

The president and his advisors are hoping all those extra helping hands will be the final bit of energy necessary to keep the congress, and perhaps, finally win the war in Iraq.

Ennui

2006-06-12T17:55:00.000-04:00

Boredom descended today. What to do when nothing seems interesting?

First of all- get out of the station before someone coaxes you into a discussion concerning the philosophy of radio. Alright, I made a quick getaway. No problem there. No one actually expects me to be interested in work anymore.

Home by 10:30- check out Sunday’s Formula One race on Tivo? Schumacher’s starting in P3 but there’s some speculation that he may be carrying a heavy fuel load. He might put on one of those dazzling shows where he nails five or six perfect laps at the end of his fuel run and passes everyone while they stop early to pit. Wishful thinking- Schumacher pits first. He’s got nothing and Alonso walks away with another easy victory.

12:15- Call Greg and talk about all those scripts lying all over the place. He’s worried that the U.S. is going to get knocked out of round one of the World Cup. He was a goalie or something in high school. I can’t relate- but we agree to meet tomorrow about the latest thing we’re sort of doing.

1:00- Still bored I write a super-short story about a guy named Martin who’s allergic to meetings:

Martin is allergic to meetings. Nothing of any consequence has ever happened after the first ten minutes of a meeting in the history of the world. Or so he would postulate. It’s an exaggeration of course, but he hates meetings with a passion. After ten minutes in a meeting he gets woozy and itchy and flush. He is allergic.

Dan is pontificating while circling the conference table. He’s talking, as he’s always talking, of the philosophy behind the sell. According to Dan, a salesman, or person, or whatever they are, has to believe in what they’re selling in order to make the ‘genuine’ connection with a potential customer necessary to close the sale. It’s elemental! He said.

Elemental was one of those words Dan used an awful lot. In fact, he was really the only person that Martin knew who used the word at all. Strange- that one person would so adopt a word that no one else would touch. A guy he knew years earlier was fond of saying things were, “off the hook.” At first it came in a conversational trickle. The boss was, “off the hook.” But it wasn’t long before the President and that show on TV last night were, “off the hook.” Soon, everything was, “off the hook” and Martin found a new friend.

The meeting was creeping up to the ten minute mark. Martin began to feel that pre-panic thing before the real thing. First he would get uncomfortable at the thought of getting uncomfortable then he would get uncomfortable. Here it comes.

Okay- that’s done. Now what?

1:30- Scour the news for audio to feature on tomorrow’s news jog. Idiots standing in a tropical storm, more Zarqawi stuff… blah, blah, blah.

3:30- Since the age of 13 or so I’ve enjoyed wasting time by making mixed tapes of some of my favorite bands and singer/songwriters. This is an art. It’s not enough to just to plop a bunch of your favorite tunes on oxide. The running order has to flow as if the artist would have released it as an album themselves, or its crap. Tapes are now pre-historic, but the mixed CD presents the same challenges.

I’ve been obsessing on the Flaming Lips lately so I rolled up my sleeves and went to work. Here’s the resulting play list. It makes for a great CD, and with I-Tunes you can buy the tracks separately and play along at home.

1.) Are You A Hypnotist?
2.) Do You Realize?
3.) The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song
4.) Race For The Prize (Remix)
5.) Waitin’ For A Superman
6.) Ego Tripping At The Gates Of Hell
7.) A Spoonful Weighs A Ton
8.) Fight Test
9.) Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt.1
10.)Mr. Ambulance Driver
11.)Haven’t Got A Clue
12.)It Overtakes Me
13.)The W.A.N.D.
14.)Suddenly Everything Has Changed
15.)Goin’ On
16.)The Gold In The Mountain Of Our Madness

I tried to add some earlier stuff like ‘She Don’t Use Jelly’ and ‘Bad Days’ but they just didn’t work with their later sound.

5:40- almost bedtime. Thank god. What’s on the Science Channel?

Don’t call it a funk.

Call it ennui.

Gitmo Suicides

2006-06-11T17:23:00.000-04:00

The news that three inmates being held at Gitmo have committed suicide has renewed calls for America to open the gates and let the prisoners go or give them the fair trials they deserve. One has to wonder if these critics are simply naïve to, or wholly complicit in, the strategies of the worldwide Jihad against America and the West.

It is not cause for commiseration when bloodthirsty zealots who would surely sport the latest design in suicide belts if they were walking free, decide to give their lives in the name of the cause from behind bars. This is not the suicide of an estranged teenager, worthy of empathy and hand-wringing. It is a political act calculated to bring pressure upon the enemy.

And certain influential types will fall for it. It would be laughable if it weren’t so dangerous.

I don’t give a damn about any of these crazies. I’m confident they would have killed me or my kin given the first opportunity to do so. Good riddance.

By the way-
There have been no attacks on U.S. soil since September 11, 2001. It doesn’t take much of a stretch of the imagination to conclude that keeping a gaggle of the most crazed fools locked up since that date has had something to do with that good fortune.

America has a right to defend itself.

The rest of the world be damned.

Turning Tide?

2006-06-08T17:05:00.000-04:00

Even a cursory reading of history makes it obvious that war is never a static situation. The news is rarely all good or all bad, but usually a mix of events that lean one way or another until a breaking point is reached.

Today’s news that U.S. forces in collaboration with intelligence sources finally brought rough justice to Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the al Qaeda leader in Iraq, cannot be trusted as the full picture any more than yesterday’s news. The reality of the situation is that the true state of things, has been, and still is taking place outside the frame and beyond the view of daily coverage.

Just as a bad day full of car bombings and bloodied marketplaces is not a reliable indicator of the success or failure of this mission. Neither can a good day brimming with news of villains vanquished be relied upon solely for a clear view of the battlefield. It is however, a good, and I think, very significant day.

The fight against terrorism looks different than the military struggles of the past. But ultimately, the same patterns of warfare are emerging that have defined every other clash of blood and ideology.

Any war is comprised of a large campaign made up of many smaller campaigns. It is the winning of these smaller, less noticed battles that eventually lead to peace on the victor’s terms. While the individual battles of the past have been clearly defined by the taking or losing of territory, this fight in Iraq, unlike most, is more political than geographic.

Up to now this paradigm has favored the enemy since the results of suicide belts and I.E.D.’s are more obvious, especially to the media, than the consistent wearing down of Al Qaeda (in or out of Iraq) by way of disinformation, night raids that confiscate valuable computer hard drives, the bribing of tribal leaders, and all of the other things that result from superior battlefield intelligence.

Nearly every winning military campaign in the history of the United States has been plagued with bad news and losses until the tide is suddenly turned and we march to victory. Those ultimate victories in turn are usually achieved on the heels of many little victories (or battles) that build to an overwhelming crescendo. Tides don’t suddenly turn by themselves. In fact, there is nothing sudden about it. They are moved and shaped by the force of energy that’s building unseen, down below the wake.

My sense is that the termination of Al-Zarqawi will be a turning point, not because of the death-mask photo that brings joy to our hearts- but as a result of the hundreds of quiet victories by the good guys that have made that picture possible.

I expect that we’ll see many dominoes tumble in the coming weeks and months because a network, terror or otherwise, is only as strong as its weakest link. It would appear that our little victories beneath the waves are now cresting and may soon crash onto the shoreline altogether.

Hell, we might even be able to vacation on the beach before too long.

Alright-
Enough of the analogy and metaphor… I’m glad this guy is dead.

Sick-Sick-Six

2006-06-06T18:02:00.000-04:00

There is no such thing as alien spacecraft from other worlds or dimensions.

There is no such thing as ghosts.

And grab your hats- there is no such thing as God! At least not in any form recognizable to the major or minor religions that have sullied up so much of human history.

If there is no God (and there isn’t), then it follows that there is no Devil.

If there is no such thing as the Devil then it can be assumed there is no need for a code, numeric or otherwise, by which the fallen angel or anti-Christ, depending on your story of choice, will be designated by.

So far the date known and feared as 6/6/06 has been a beauty in the part of the world I call home. A gorgeous blue sky punctuated by the occasional puffy, marshmallow-like white cloud has been the order of the day. A gentle breeze driving home the peaceful nature of things, accentuates the fact that the world is blissfully unaware of the ignorant superstitious character of the human beings in temporary residence of its environs.

Why people feel a need to make up so much happy horseshit to get them through this life is a never ending mystery to me. With all the things fascinating and wonderful to trip on in this world… why make stuff up?

Superstition is ignorance- Always.

End of story.

By the way:
A lone gunman named Lee Harvey Oswald shot JFK from a room in the Texas School Book Depository. But let’s not get into idiotic conspiracy theories here. I feel like going for a swim.

Same Sex Showdown

2006-06-05T17:31:00.000-04:00

I found myself in one of those situations that I can’t stand this morning- Knowing that I had an unpopular opinion on an issue and being in no mood to argue about it. But the news cycle tosses its debris on its own timetable and I make my living spouting off at the mouth- so there I was.

The Republicans need to rally their base and chose today to open their congressional campaign with debate on a proposed constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. I covered that, and the fact that the president was due to add his two cents at an afternoon press conference, on the News Jog. This of course led to a discussion on the topic and I couldn’t help but give my honest opinion, which is that I’m against almost any legislation that tells one group of consenting adults that they don’t have the same rights as another group of consenting adults.

I don’t really think it’s a very important issue right now. But when asked my opinion I’ll give it. I don’t mind sporting the occasional unpopular point of view but I was in no mood to deal with the inevitable tidal wave of perverse logic that flies into my grill every time I speak my mind on this one.

Let’s see if I can shoo away some of the nonsense disguised as argument that was heaved at me this morning:

1.)
Would I allow my children to be cared for at a Day Care Center run by gay couples?

I honestly don’t understand the relevance of this question, but what the hell… The answer is no. The answer is no because I have certain prejudices about grown men supervising pre-school children. Although it’s alright for me to make personal decisions based on my prejudices, I don’t have any right to compel others to share them by force of law.

2.)
Do I think its okay for siblings to marry?

No. The reproductive defects of inter-family marriage have been well established- just look at the English royal family for Christ’s sake. And don’t come at me with the potential social ills of gay marriages. Medical science enjoys a validity that simply isn’t found in the social sciences.

3.)
Is it okay for necrophilia fans to marry the dead, or for human beings to marry animals?

No it’s not okay to have sex with or marry any entity that cannot consent to that marriage. This includes the dead, the undead, barnyard animals, and any other human being below the age of consent.

All that being said- I do agree with the Republican notion that these things should be decided by the people, at the ballot box, and not by radical justices on the courts… so I have a compromise. Let’s let the people decide the issue of gay marriage right after we allow them to vote on a woman’s right to an abortion.

It’s only fair.

Lefty Test

2006-06-03T17:43:00.000-04:00

I don’t know if these Marines being investigated for possible atrocities in Haditha, Iraq are guilty of the alleged crimes or not. But I do know that it provides a good test for a leftist interested in finding out about their true level of personal patriotism.

Is your first instinct to believe that they are guilty or innocent? If your first knee-jerk impulses send a signal of guilt then you have finally been exposed as a liar when you’ve told people that you support the troops, even though you don’t support the war. If, on the other hand, you are certain your boys would never be involved in such a thing, and are hoping and praying that the investigation proves them not guilty- you’ve passed the test.

Go ahead my Lefty friends. Look in the mirror. Be honest- what was you’re very first notion concerning this latest inflammatory news out of Iraq?

Did You Know?

2006-06-01T19:23:00.000-04:00

Did you know Abe Lincoln fought off a mild bout of smallpox toward the end of his first term? Neither did I. Hell, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a minor form of smallpox- but that’s beside the point.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading about the sixteenth president lately, and despite his stature, closer study reveals him to be under and not overrated. Given the hyperbolic coverage of current events delivered through the teeth of the perpetual 24 hour news cycle, you’d think we live in the most polarized and contentious times in American history. Did you know that that isn’t true?

Red states vs. blue states pales in comparison to the Blue vs. the Gray. The next time CNN leads with a story about the president under siege they might do well to remember those weeks and months when an army bent on conquering the nation’s capitol were within whistling distance of the White House.

Did you know Honest Abe was considered a bumbling buffoon and a complete disappointment to nearly all for the lion’s share of his tenure? Did you know that support for the war in the northern states wavered greatly throughout the conflict?

Have you ever actually looked into what happened at Fort Sumter in the months leading up to the civil war? Check it out and ask yourself what the press would do to the current occupant of the oval office if he had bungled anything as badly in the last five years. Believe me, the WMD debacle ain’t got nothin’ on this.

Abraham Lincoln appeared to be doing everything wrong right up to the point that everything began going right.

On one hand, he had to deal with the wrath of the abolitionists and radical Republicans who thought he was dragging his feet on emancipation- On the other, the Copperheads nearly succeeded in derailing him by convincing a large portion of the citizenry that he had committed the blood of their children for the ulterior cause of the negro- and not the preservation of the Union that he so often spoke about.

All this while many opined and editorialized that the idiot in the White House was a mere puppet who did whatever his Secretary of State (the real brains behind the operation) told him to do. And just everybody, friend and foe, knew that he was a complete failure as Commander-in-Chief.

Sound familiar?

So what’s the secret of his historic success?

It can be summed up in one word, attitude.

Lincoln’s greatness isn’t simply a testament to his vision and wisdom. He had many admirable qualities but it was his temperament that provided the foundation for his legacy.

Slow to make enemies and quick to bury the hatchet with adversaries, he was never insulted by an opposing opinion, and through personal kindness sewed the seeds of affection that pour from the hearts of Americans to this day.

By the way:
Did you know that Abraham Lincoln pulled a Michael Moore and spoke out against a popular war that he described as illegal when he was a member of the House of Representatives? Neither did I-

But he didn’t hold that office for very long.

Some things never change.

Waiting for Stewart

2006-05-31T15:33:00.000-04:00

It turns out that Tony Stewart isn’t nearly as fat in person as he has been appearing to be on recent race day television coverage. Sure he’s gained some pounds over the last couple of seasons but he doesn’t actually tote around that Orson Welles sized girth when out of his driving uniform.

After today’s show Tim Andrews, Kelly Brown and I headed out to The Home Depot for a promised interview with the two-time and reigning Nextel Cup champion. Given the fact that he had just broken a bone in his lower right shoulder blade area I half-expected him to be a no-show. But at the appointed time he strolled up, right arm in a sling- left arm ready to glad hand anyone thrown in front of him by his home improvement team sponsor.

Such is the reality of the economics of racing. A competitive Nascar program now costs upwards of 20-25 million dollars a year and good corporate sponsors, flush with cash are few and far between. So although he won’t be driving this weeks full race (he’ll start in order to be eligible for the points the car will accrue, then turn it over to Ricky Rudd during the first caution flag), he is still willing to fly to Atlanta in order to fulfill a corporate obligation.

We thought we might get lucky and squeeze out an early one-on-one when he first arrived, but the corporate greeters immediately descended, and soon in-store activities got started- so we camped in the parking lot to await our turn. When he reemerged we jumped up to be informed that we would get very little time in between live satellite interviews he would be doing with a number of local TV stations around the country. I’m not bitching, it’s the way these things tend to go and we were participating in a media gangbang to begin with.

After wrapping up an appearance with some Seattle news-folk his people waved us in and Kelly and I made our way onto the makeshift television set with a mini-disc recorder and a long list of questions we didn’t have time for. The whole thing probably lasted for about four and a half minutes but he was in a good mood and the interview went well.

I think most race fans would be genuinely surprised at what a nice and pleasant guy Tony Stewart can be. He has a short fuse, but if it doesn’t get lit he radiates a rather happy go lucky spirit. I asked him about the injury, the plan for Dover, let him get his Powerade plug in and asked him who he was rooting for on the last lap of the Indy 500- then I got the heavy duty wrap sign from his media rep because Tony was due for another live TV shot in some other part of the country. But wait, I hadn’t asked about the monkey.

So I asked about the monkey and I left.

It was a short but enjoyable interview.

On the Lips

2006-05-30T16:48:00.000-04:00

Most bands with multi-orgasmic light shows sacrifice spontaneity for the syncopated choreography necessary to pull off the full psychedelic experience. The Flaming Lips don’t suffer this weakness. At Centennial Park a couple of weeks ago they managed to dazzle without any apparent stage direction at all. Unlike the carefully rigged and pre-packaged visual assault of current U2 or latter-day Floyd, the Lips appear to toss all of their goodies on stage and proceed to make their way through the toy box until it’s time to say goodnight.

It was a blast to take in- a bit like lead singer Wayne Coyne had invited the entire audience into his basement so he could put a show on for all of us. In an era where the Stones have become so sharp onstage they risk sterility it’s nice to see a great band that defaults to a looseness that only the best can be trusted with. Only the truly talented can manage poignant lyrical and musical moments while ten or fifteen Santa Claus’ heckle, dance and gesticulate at the ten or fifteen space aliens jumping to and fro on the opposite side of the stage.

I was originally going to leave before they started so that I wouldn’t spoil the memory of seeing Big Star, one of my true favorites- and one of the most elusive groups to catch playing live. I can’t imagine they’ve done more than a handful of shows since 1975 and I got to see one, and I was happy… and all that. But I decided to stick around for The Flaming Lips spectacle and I’m glad I did.

I’m also glad I took off before the encore of Sabbath’s War Pigs complete with the obligatory George W. Bush is evil film clips. What a buzz-kill. I wish these musicians would realize that some of us go out to a show hoping to get away from the war and politics for a little while. I’m happy I got to leave on a psychedelic up note as they serenaded me to my car with a song about a girl who uses Vaseline to cook with, or some such nonsense.

I love Wayne Coyne’s attitude, toys and music. But I honestly don’t give a damn about his personal foreign policy preferences. Why don’t cats like this understand that guys like Rumsfeld and Bush make it possible for them to play around, gaze at their navel and create art? Are we to send the artists and poets to defend us? Are we to stake the future on Michael Stipe or Bono’s ability to placate the enemy?

Alright Mr. Coyne, you don’t like the way Bush is dealing with world events- so what would you do differently… write a song about it!?

Please- stick to your strengths and leave the political statements to people who are supposed to be annoying, like Ann Coulter.

Ah well, I’ll remember the night for the confetti cannons, chest strobe and dry-ice bullhorn.

I missed the War and got to chill with the Mystics.

Not bad.

Pundit Interview

2006-05-30T14:42:00.000-04:00

This interview with the pundit from November 2005 courtesy of the folks at fellowshipofreason.com does a pretty good job of going over the battered history of the Mad Pundit project:

Five Questions with Eric Von Haessler

Regular Guy, Mad Pundit

Interview by Dan Barber

Eric Von Haessler is the 41-year-old soft-spoken half of the popular morning radio show The Regular Guys, which airs weekday mornings on Atlanta's 96 Rock. Eric had a tumultuous upbringing, moving from city to city but he claims Rochester, NY as his hometown. He began what he calls his angry phase at age 12, when his gypsy-hearted father abandoned the family. Eric dropped out of high school and worked in the restaurant business for a while.

His life changed when he stumbled into a comedy club, meeting Larry Wachs (the other half of The Regular Guys). Eric credits Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead, which he read at the age of 29, for helping him develop productive habits. "Im glad I kicked the anger," he jokes. "Now Im just neurotic."

Eric is married to his first love, and has two boys. His latest project is The Mad Pundit (which is both a radio show and a web log), which allows him to explore his political and social views - including his non-theistic beliefs - in a more personal way. Visit MadPundit.com, or listen every Saturday at 1pm on WGST 640 AM (which is also available live on the internet at WGST.com).

Q: Success is not an accident, so I would like to know what books, movies, or people have inspired you to (as you say in your bio) "think on your own terms." How did that lead to your success?

Eric: I discovered my older brother's albums when I was 10 years old. Because I liked the album cover I sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper's from end to end. Music has been the most important entertainment for me since. I listen to music constantly. I like too many artists to name but The Beatles, R.E.M., Peter Gabriel, Big Star, Talking Heads, Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan are a few - and Dylan's Blonde on Blonde is my favorite album.

Ayn Rand, while wrong about many things, has influenced me tremendously with the things that she was right about. To clarify, I think she was right on the bedrock issues of philosophy and the mind, but turned goofy in her ongoing critique of everything in existence. Her opinion, for example, that movies are art but photography isnt is plainly absurd.

My favorite author is Dostoyevsky because I somehow resemble every character in every story he's ever written. My favorite book is his best work: The Brothers Karamazov.

Q: Youve been very successful with The Regular Guys. How does the additional Mad Pundit "project" serve you in this stage of your life? How did you arrive at the idea? Does it serve a particular personal mission?

Eric: Financial success isnt necessarily tied to the things you're most interested in, or the things you're most interested in doing. This is probably true for most people, no matter their job, and it's no different for me. The Regular Guys is a great gig in many ways but its a set thing. The show has a particular attitude and culture that are cemented and will never change - which is good for the show because it remains consistent to the listener, but it doesnt work all that well for me personally because I really like to work on new and different things. In a perfect world I would work on a project by project basis, throwing myself into something for a few months until it's complete, then moving on to the next project. But it's not a perfect world, and so far the marketplace has only seen fit to reward me for the work I do in the rock morning-show format.

To ease the frustration I negotiated a weekly show on sister station WGST-AM into my 96 Rock contract. This means that you can hear the closest thing to a ratings-proof show if you tune into The Mad Pundit Show on Saturdays at 1pm.

The idea for the WGST show grew out of the website, and the idea for the website was to have a place where I could explore some of the more abstract comedy ideas and political thoughts that were rolling around my mind at the time. I began working with Greg Russ, who started as a Regular Guys intern and had since mutated into Dekker on another sister station called The Buzz, and we liked writing together so I began to conceive of the website as a place to present our comedy material and my political commentary in one place. Then I brought in Autumn Pritts, another former intern, to help us get it all done and the three of us took on the project with a passion.

Everything went pretty well until The Regular Guys were tossed off the air [in March 2004, for allegedly violating FCC obscenity regulations, after a mishandled gag playing backward porn] just a month after [The Mad Pundit] went online and the promotional lights pretty much went out. We kept [the Mad Pundit website] alive and kicking for a good long time, then it slowly became a mess when I returned to 96 Rock [in April 2005] and Dekker landed a gig at 99X. But at least we have the little Saturday radio show, and we're actually about to re-ignite the website in a few weeks.

Q: Your latest article is entitled "The Morality of Looting". What are your thoughts about morality - what is it exactly? And why is it (or is it not) a valuable concept?

Eric: Im nothing more than a dime-store philosopher but I think morality is the choice to do things as you know them to be right. The problem is that different types of people are raised to believe different things about what is wrong and what is right. So morality has no value if it isn't grounded in a sound philosophy. But it has to be a sound philosophy sought out by the individual and not just a handed-down set of inter-generational moral values that one parrots for life.

Q: You have positioned yourself to be an opinion leader here in the South, and you have also been quite open about your atheism. How has that admission affected your progress in achieving your personal goals? Has it helped, or hindered?

Eric: I don't even know if I'm an actual atheist. All I know is that I don't believe any story about the origins of creation or the destiny of man that I've ever been told by any scripture I've ever been exposed to. I dont feel qualified to say what is or isn't going to happen when we die, but I suspect it's a lot like before we were born: pure nothing. But I could be wrong.

Being out of the closet about my strong non-belief has helped me immeasurably personally by allowing me to be comfortable with myself and my public image. I'm sure it has hurt my PR on some level but I've never been confronted by a lunatic - and that's all I would worry about from those folks. It's okay for people to hate me, so long as they stay away from me.

Q: What are your thoughts on the future of modern religion? Where do you think we go from here?

Eric: I don't have a very good understanding of modern religion. It really does strike me as anachronistic at this point. It's the mathematicians and scientists that have led us into the modern age, not the shamanistic types. It's all voodoo to me. I have a personal preference toward Toa-ism because it is a philosophy of living and doesn't predict the afterlife. Modern religion has had to make way and moderate their teachings continually since they lost the power to persecute the Einsteins of the world.